Just… snark. (Or is it? Not sure.)

I’m tired of these stores that flaunt these plain tops, plain cotton shirts, plain jeans, plain bodysuits with ooh! stripes that go this-a-way! or hey! the whole bodysuit’s only one colour! or have plain-ass sweatsuits with only the brand name slapped on going for it. Or looking like that sports stuff from high school you never really threw away. And either touting these as ‘classic’ or the next best thing since sliced bread.

Oh, pleeeease.

Get OFF my printed page, already.

And in order to make it look SPECIAL, you have to have multiple shots of the barely-past pubescent-looking model posing with the plain-looking clothes.

Just. UGH.

To me it looks like a lazy photo shoot attempt.

Who buys this? As in, falls for it?

I don’t.

…Do you?

… and time for some snark.

I’m still on my self- imposed exile from writing full-on, but.

Snark.

So. And I say this, having seen Denise’s couch and rug, and Nancy from novel #2, in photos from various magazines…

On the makeup being touted, the hue: this side of sand. “A backstage favourite, this one-stick wonder from Italy highlights the face…”

(…cue someone with skin like dark mahogany slabbing on a sand-coloured stick across the cheek…)

“…gives legs incredible shine…”

(…cue the pale stick being streaked across same dark mahogany legs…)

“I down a glass of potassium-and electrolyte-rich coconut water before I step on the plane,” this other bit says here. Yeah, we all frequent-flyer. “It’s essential for fighting zero-humidity cabin air and staying hydrated in flight.” Uh-huh.

“A little goes a long way with this complexion-enhancing concealer.”

(Cue an applier, even paler than the ‘one-stick wonder’, being applied on…)