My slightly demented, addled, early morning exchange with Simon Dewar

My addled brain and half awake homour resulted in this exchange betwen me and Simon Dewar just now.

It deserves to be preserved for posterity.

Right?

===

Me:- not sure what time it is there, but ahoy there matey
Simon:- Hey how’s it
Me:- something’s taken up residence in my nose and throat
Me:- NOT AMUSED
Simon:- Ahhh
Simon:- That sucks.
Simon:- Hope you feel well soon
Me:- if they’re gonna take up residence I DEMAND RENT PAYMENTS
Simon:- Lolol can’t blame you
Simon:- You getting rest?
Me:- I wanted to watch the Late Late Show but for the second night in a row I have passed out and woken up at this ungodly hour due to perky morning news shit
Me:- irritating my brain stem
Me:- >blows nose loudly at you<
Simon:- Sounds terrible lol
Simon:- What’s your plan for today then? More writing?
Me:- YOUR SENTENCE CONTRADICTS ITSELF, SIR. YOU ARE ENJOYING MY PAIN
Me:- Naw, man. I’m not opening Scrivener at night for a while. That weekend kidnapping incident by that… (checks wordcount) 9500 word story is still traumatizing me. Who knows what other story ideas are lurking out there
Simon:- Lol i get like that too.
Me:- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING
Me:- ARE U MOCKING MY PAIN, SIR? (throws down gloves)
Me:- (or slaps you with one, whatever the thing they used to do is…)
Simon:- No, just amused that all writers seem to be similar in a way
Me:- LIAR
Me:- (points)
Simon:- Similar issues and habits. This is amusing
Me:- I know of an incomplete novel that’s lurking about my parts. I don’t want it mugging me right now AT ALL.
Simon:- I can’t write novels. It’s too hard.
Me:- Meh.
Me:- it’s 63,100 words. it’s a book.
Simon:- Yup, that’s a novel.
Me:- It wants me to massage it till it gets an…ending. Happy or not
Me:- u know like in thos disreputable massage parlours
Simon:- Haha I don’t wanna know.
Me:- AHA I KNEW IT YER MOCKING MY PAIN
Simon:- I have to go. chores await. Feel well soon. I’ll try and get to your story tomorrow.

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