My addled brain and half awake homour resulted in this exchange betwen me and Simon Dewar just now.
It deserves to be preserved for posterity.
Me:- not sure what time it is there, but ahoy there matey
Simon:- Hey how’s it
Me:- something’s taken up residence in my nose and throat
Me:- NOT AMUSED
Simon:- That sucks.
Simon:- Hope you feel well soon
Me:- if they’re gonna take up residence I DEMAND RENT PAYMENTS
Simon:- Lolol can’t blame you
Simon:- You getting rest?
Me:- I wanted to watch the Late Late Show but for the second night in a row I have passed out and woken up at this ungodly hour due to perky morning news shit
Me:- irritating my brain stem
Me:- >blows nose loudly at you<
Simon:- Sounds terrible lol
Simon:- What’s your plan for today then? More writing?
Me:- YOUR SENTENCE CONTRADICTS ITSELF, SIR. YOU ARE ENJOYING MY PAIN
Me:- Naw, man. I’m not opening Scrivener at night for a while. That weekend kidnapping incident by that… (checks wordcount) 9500 word story is still traumatizing me. Who knows what other story ideas are lurking out there
Simon:- Lol i get like that too.
Me:- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING
Me:- ARE U MOCKING MY PAIN, SIR? (throws down gloves)
Me:- (or slaps you with one, whatever the thing they used to do is…)
Simon:- No, just amused that all writers seem to be similar in a way
Simon:- Similar issues and habits. This is amusing
Me:- I know of an incomplete novel that’s lurking about my parts. I don’t want it mugging me right now AT ALL.
Simon:- I can’t write novels. It’s too hard.
Me:- it’s 63,100 words. it’s a book.
Simon:- Yup, that’s a novel.
Me:- It wants me to massage it till it gets an…ending. Happy or not
Me:- u know like in thos disreputable massage parlours
Simon:- Haha I don’t wanna know.
Me:- AHA I KNEW IT YER MOCKING MY PAIN
Simon:- I have to go. chores await. Feel well soon. I’ll try and get to your story tomorrow.