Reading around…

Reading Justine Larbalestier’s post, “How I finished my first novel” and a couple of sentences hit home.

Because back then I had no idea whether I could finish a novel. And not knowing if that was possible made finishing really really difficult.

This is me, basically right now, approaching 40,000 words.

I’m… scared. I’m reaching SFWA’s technical edge of crossover to true novel length work. And it’s not like I’ve not hit 40k words on something before.

So why the fear?

Is it because, this time, I’m facing down the prospect of actually going from beginning, to middle, and end? Of finishing something, having something complete, rather than have something written of that length?

Or maybe it’s just hitting home now, feeling real?

Not sure. But I clocked in about 4k words on a new short before I realized that if I was plugging away on the Work in Progress (can’t call it a novel, or I’ll freak) I’d be 1/2 way to navigating the 10k needed to reach 40k.

So I sat myself down and did 652 words or so last night.

If I keep this up, I’ll like get 10k by the 31st Dec.  But.

I’m not a words-every-day kind of person. Never have been.

We’ll see. We’ll see if finishing a novel’s a possibility for me.

There’s days when my illness makes this feel like an impossible task with no end in sight.

But others have done it. I’ve been to their book launches this year.

Here we go.

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